Zero Chemistry, Mucho Carbon Emissions: A Journey Through “The Holiday”

Deck the halls, fellow humans, because it is the motherfudging season! After this dumpster fire of a year, we are once again allowed to gain respite from the crippling apoco-anxiety by nose-diving into allllll the bad-good Christmas films that Netflix has to offer. (N.B. It’s a long list and my journey through it is on-going …

You had me at…Halloween

I’ll not lie, my expectations for Halloween 2020 were not what you would call high for all of the reasons you are all endlessly familiar with these days. Under normal circumstances when Halloween falls on a Saturday night, I’d be dressed as a generic spooky thing, up to my eyeballs in cheap neon-coloured alcohol, dancing …

Xena: Wood Princess

As we smack face-first into the ‘Roni winter wave, I’ve decided enough is enough with this whole online dating malarkey. It should come as no surprise to anyone that the general experience has not been remotely improved by the addition of hand sanitiser, masks and enough space between the two of you to fit a …

Win-Win

I have news, guys. Well, more of an update than news, really. But I’m bored and, let’s face it, all we have is time these days so I’m making this as dramatic as I possibly can. (…Cue pulling of fire alarm…) Anyhoo, now we’re all back in doors and the firemen are away…to my news! …

Virtual Smirtual!

SO. Suffice it to say, 2020 has not been quite as advertised. Going into the second week of ‘social distancing’ and general quarantine-esque…ness, I am learning lots of things about myself that all point in the same unsurprising direction: I was not designed for isolation. I suspect I maaaaay not be alone in this. (That …

Ursula the Unsung

  I have a spicy hot take, guys. It’s not particularly new or original but I’m going to tell you about it anyway. Because, despite the fact I’ve only recently come to this pointless and slightly rushed conclusion, it is a hill I am 100% ready to die on and it is thus: Ursula the …

“Trust me – I’m a Chef…”

Ah, the dealbreaker. That cringey, terrible moment when you realise that the threshold for what you think you can put up with in another human being turns out to be embarrassingly low. Because it will inevitably be a low bar. You won’t be knee-deep into your umpteenth date before discovering they think that women should …

So You’ve Been Fringed…

The Edinburgh Fringe. That heady time of year when the city’s population quadruples and for an entire month you spend every second you’re outside treating poor unsuspecting flyerers like they’re war criminals. I know, I know – it seems unreasonable of me to be a Fringe crank and, in many ways, it is. To have …

Restroom? Try Bestroom!

I was out having a wee dance on Saturday night for a pal's birthday and it reminded me of a question that I've wondered about on more than one occasion. And that question is: what is it like in men’s bathrooms on nights out in bars. Not for, like, a pervy reason or anything - …

Quit Kitten Around

I’m not going to lie to you, the last few weeks have been pretty rough on the old ‘online dating’ front. Ok, that’s not strictly true – nothing bad actually happened. Basically I decided to dip a toe back into the online pool before being reminded that, for the most part, it’s kind of just …